BLOODY HELL, I Hate magic and i'm a WHAT!
by nimbuschic
Summary: Leandra finds herself stuck in a universe that she had misunderstood all these while for having muggle parents who were both muggle magicians themselves. What if she found out that she was a witch and meets the golden trio at hogwarts! R&R! pretty pls!:D
1. Chapter 1

**I hate Magic and i'm a WHAT???**

Hello readers. This is a new story of mine.. :) hope you do read it and i need reviews...

**disclaimer: The world of Hogwarts belongs to Jk rowling.**

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**Chapter 1:**

I remembered the first time it occurred. What occurred,u may ask. Well.. The very first time I did magic of course.

Before it actually occurred, magic to me was as simple as pulling a white rabbit out of a hat. As funny as watching a clown pull out a never-ending handkerchief from his pocket. I never did like magic. Never did. Maybe you could blame it on my fear of clowns and their pathetic attempts in doing magic at my 5th birthday party all the way til my 10th birthday. I know, it's pathetic.. But i guess having a pair of parents who owned a magic shop full of stupid magic stuff and who are really magic enthusiasts really made me an automatic magic lover in their eyes.

But I guess I shouldn't be too hard on them. I am their only child. So I guess they just had to make me into someone who is as interested in magic as they are. Trust me, pretending that you love watching your dad deal some cards and making one disappear before your very own eyes every single breakfast in the morning really sucks. Really it does. I guess mum was a bit better I suppose. She left me to my own devices but she would occasional freak me out once in a while,by making me participate in their weekly routine at some gala event by being their assistant.Yup, my parents,besides being the owner of the most famous magic shop in our town,are also celebrity magicians.. My parents can be a little annoying at times ,but don' get me wrong.. I love them. I am not into their 'magical' stuff that's all..

So, who would have thought that despite my hatred for magic, I was soon to find out that I had the very essence of magic running through my veins. And the very first time that burst of magic occurred, let's just say, I was quite thrilled by it..

Why you may ask? Well, imagine you are sitting in class, totally bored out of your mind, listening to your teacher talking about some history crap. And suddenly, you realise that your teacher has picked you, out of all people,to come to the board to answer a question. I was about 10 I think at that time. So i grudgingly stood up and i remembered tripping over my arch rival's foot,Lee Ling. Lee Ling was this girl in my class, with small eyes and hair so shiny and black, you just had to not look at it for too long because you just might blind yourself. She was a petite little thing in our class but a big bully.She laughed and laughed. So did the whole class. I was angry, duh. I turned to Lee Ling and gave her a deadly glare before proceeding towards the front of the class, ignoring the taunts. Before I could even lift up the chalk, screams could be heard.. I turned around and what greeted me was a mess.

A mess of something that i couldn't really explain. Lee Ling was screaming her head off. I realized that her shiny crop of hair had something moving on it.. A nice clump of somethings were hanging on her nice and neat ponytails that i used to envy but not at that moment. There were dozens of tiny baby cockroaches scuttling across her forehead and just chilling in her nest of shiny hair.

Ok, so I was amused. Who wouldn't but I didnt really think much about the incident until about a week later. Having escape from the cockroaches incident unscathed and even managed to get lesser bullying from Lee Ling( Mrs Robinson taught us about karma, and she finally figured she got to get her act straight before another bunch of cockroaches come flying towards her), I was fine and happy in school. Exams were commencing and I had to study all night for it. The thing that was weird I remember, during the actual exam itself, something totally out of hand occurred.

I was trying to remember something about the pollination process and was quite frustrated by the fact I couldn't remember it. I was chewing my lower lip, sweat dripping of my forehead but I guess, studying the night before in front of the telly didn't really count as much revision. So I gave up and merely, sat back and rather took a nap than sacrifice my brain cells for something I knew I couldn't remember.

The funny thing was, when the results came,it was really a surprise when my teacher accused me of cheating. I looked at the sheet of OTS paper and was horrified. A 100? The only 100 i had actually scored in my life was in some game that required me to kill some guys in uniforms. Being the dumbest girl in class all these while who snored in all her exams, well.. scoring 100 was none too good.

My parents defended me and I was bloody glad. I was moving up the class and they were thrilled that their baby girl was finally working hard. And since there was no evidence too this time, i was off the hooked. As relieved as I was that i was not to spend another year in that stupid primary school, i knew, at the back of my mind something was occurring.

So the funny incidences continued. Getting the whole class showered with funny white stuff from the ceiling when I was being scolded by my teacher for not doing her homework. Keys duplicating itself one night. Multi-coloured hair on another one of my enemies in school when she tried to get me to climb over the fence into the boy's school next to ours. Chocolate milk carton that was filled with orange juice. Not once.Not twice. But 5 times. My mum complained to the company and we got a whole year supply of dairy products that even my hair has started to smell like cheese.

All these occurances was well, weird, but hey.. I was 11. I didn't think much.

So... When a weird fluffy thing suddenly flew into my bedroom window that fateful, i was quite shock and amused. The tiny brown owl was cute but what made it even cuter was that it was holding a kind of parchment thing in is beak. Upon closer inspection, it was in fact a brown envelope.

With a frown, I carefully took it from the owl's beak...

_To Miss __Leandra__ Woods,_

_I am pleased to inform you __that you have been accepted to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry..._

My eyes scanned the piece of parchment. Funny words jumped out to me. I was dumb but even I knew the word _Muggleborn_ wasn't something in the Oxford dictionary. _By __floo__?Professor__Flitwick__ coming by __floo_ to talk about admin matters? _Supplies_ for school? A toad as a pet? Though I knew it wouldn't be much of a problem to get one of those ugly things.I had a friend who works at a Chinese restaurant who served frogs every night and getting a toad for free was easy.

But the rest of the stuff inside was freaky, new and weird all at the same time.

Before I could even say or think any further, i heard the familiar scream from my mum coming from the kitchen. I rushed down, letter gripped in one hand and...

There was a weird short stumpy man standing before our fireplace, rubbing off ash from his tiny self, a smile greeting both of us.

"Sorry for the intrusion, but I believe Leandra, you have finally gotten our letter. "

My mum, looking pale looked at me, an undeniable panic in her eyes. I was sure I was shaking.. Not from the shock of seeing stranger so tiny coming out of our fireplace but the fact that I knew the letter in my hands was sealing a sort of destiny that I knew was unfolding before my very eyes.

With a gulp, I handed him the letter, inching nearer and nearer to my mum.

"I think both of you should sit down..."

Both of us did and the tiny man introduced himself as Professor Flitwick. He looked like a very nice man,just short.. Too short for my liking...I was starting to feel nervous.

"I am proud and honoured to inform you that you're daughter has been accepted to Hogwarts School of Magic..."

I turned to my mum. The effect was instantaneous. One minute she looked as if she was about to faint and the next second, her face became alive at that single word. MAGIC.

She was like me, confused..

"Hogwarts you say? It sounds like an established school. School of magic you say? I didn't realise that there has ever been a school of magic these days? You see, me and my husband has been performing magic all our life but.. we aren't that sure about magic schools..."she said, with a sort of undisguised excitement and pride in her voice. I was still shaking but managed to roll my eyes at my mum's reaction.

The professor laughed.

"You mean muggle magic...That's just a bunch of tricks..Oh, by muggle I mean.. Non-magic folks"

My mum looked so offended and I knew I just had to jump right in before she kicked the tiny man out of our house. I was desperate for answers.

" So you mean this magic school doesn't teach tricks? But come on, magic is just a trick of mind. Right? Sorry mum, as much as I love you, I don't believe in magic and anything related with rabbits,chains,disappearing watches and flowers emerging from empty pockets...

I stared at the tiny man in front of me, his face full of laughter, I knew at that second I wanted to strangle the tiny man with my bare hands.

"Yes, they all are. But magic taught in Hogwarts is special. It's real magic. And it's only granted those special few..."

My mum was about to mentioned something when the Professor continued.

"Magic lies beyond the tricks that muggles come out with. Magic can only be done by those who are destined to do magic."

"So me going to that school...Means I can do magic???"

For once, my mum actually stopped looking angry and instead looked hopeful.

"Yes, indeed you can. That is why your name came up in our magical register, shorlisting those who are born to do magic..."

" But how? Why... I mean..."

The professor looked at my confused 10 year old face and with a reassuring smile he continued...

" Well, I have no need to ask you this but... Have you ever done something weird or extraordinary these past few weeks."

I gave a hesitant shake of the head, unwilling to tell a complete stranger about Lee Ling's hairs, the white stuff, the keys and the milk. He smiled again..

"You see, the reason you're doing all those stuff is simply because magic is slowly seeping out of you and you need to control it."

By this time, my mum was already quite too shocked to utter anything.

"But... you can't mean I'm a freak.. a special kid with special powers like those freaks from the X-men show or something??????" I retaliated, cold sweat dripping of my forehead.

With a sigh, the little man simply looked at me with that irritating smile of his...

"Well, it's partly because you ARE special..."

"HUH?"

"Leandra,you are a witch..."

I felt my mum's body stiffened beside me. A car was pulling in driveway. It was probably my dad but the shock of the new information being thrown at me was numbing my feet, tongue,eyebrows, toes and every single part of my body...

"You will start school on the 1st of September... Supplies... Diagon Alley...Platform 9 and ¾..."

All those info...

Our conversation was interrupted by my dad who had just came in, oblivious to the situation..

"Hey hey darlings.. He swooped down to give my forehead a kiss, and my mum a swift kiss upon her cheek,not noticing that my mum was still not moving...

"SO...How's my special girl today?"He said before turning around and suddenly froze at the sight of a smiling Professor Flitwick...

He merely smiled at my dad and continued...

"Sir, I believe your special girl is indeed quite special..."

I knew,right about then, the Leandra that I knew for all my life, was gonna to face some serious changes..In my wildest daydreams, I have never ever thought that going to a school of magic would change my whole outlook on the life I have been living in all these while..

Hogwarts??Pftt... A school that sounds like a name of a warts cream or something... Nah.. No parents of mine will force me to go there right???Boy was I wrong...

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A/NHow's that for my first chapter?? Please do leave comments. I do not take kindly to flamers.. but i really need to know whether this chapter is good enough for me to continue?????thanks..

love: the nimbuschic


	2. Chapter 2

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Hello dear people. I wrote this chapter in depression over the fact that my favourite laptop died on me and all my other fanfiction and chapters went POOF...should had a back up u say, well, i did and I kinda cant find my thumbdrive.. maybe it's the Nargles... But i am depressed coz my almost complete chapters are in there.. bah!

oh well, presenting to you the second chapter of "Bloody Hell, I hate magic and I'm a WHAT?!"

disclaimer: Stuff that looks familiar belongs to you-know-who.

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What can I say.. The past few weeks after that horrifying discovery that I was a human being infused with magical powers were well... as expected.. Mum was excited over the discovery that I would be taught real magic and was already planning out the costume I would be wearing to all their shows once I graduate.Dad was a bit reluctant to let me go to Hogwarts since it was in the middle of nowhere and also, he never did trust the words of anyone who looked as if he came out from a fairy tale book. Poor Professor Flitwick. Though that was nothing. The look on their faces was priceless when a big,large,super huge and hairy and beardy man came to our front door the next morning.

Dad spilled coffee all over his magic cards and his thighs and yelled a four letter that got me grinning.

Mum screamed and dropped her glass of low fat milk on the floor.

Somehow, I didn't choke on my raisin bread and found myself wondering what special formulae the guy ate when he was younger and whether he ever had to go to fat camp like me when I was younger.

"So his name's Hagrid.." I thought silently as he explained to my mum and dad about bringing me to Diagon Alley to buy my school stuff. He threw me a warm smile, but I scowled at him instead. Rude but you gotta excuse me, I wasn't used to having half-giants for company during breakfast.

How was the trip to Diagon Alley??

It looked as miserable as it sounds.. People walking around in long robes as if they were all heading to their graduation. Funny hats.Funny cats. Funny broomsticks that were on sale and people going crazy over them..I remembered Hagrid attempting to buy me ice-cream to cheer me up (I didn't like shopping. I prefer buying stuff on the net with my mum.) but i was still quite afraid to talk with him.

But I did like the part where I got to choose my own wand. Or rather, as I was told by the wrinkly old man inside the store, the wand chooses me? Oh puh lease...

Mr Ollivander was a kind old man, patient as I tried all the wands, each of them felt different in my hands...

"So they are all different?" I asked,getting rather bored already.

"Yes they are dear. The wand chooses the wizard and each wand contains different elements. Some can even contain hairs from a unicorn..A veela. Feather from a phoenix...

"Unicorn?Phoenix?Hahaha! Errr. They don't exist don't they?"

Mr Ollivander blinked at me for a moment before laughing.

"They do dear. They really do..."

I glanced at the dusty old boxes on the table. I have swished and flicked and swished and flicked like he told me to. 20 of them so far and I was frustrated. I didn't see or felt anything extraordinary such as any tingling sensation in my fingers.

"Can't I have a different coloured one?"

"Err..Excuse me?" The old wizard answered,confusion on his face..

"Well, they all look boringly the same. How can I figure out which one is mine if i accidentally switched mine with some of the kids in school? Can I have mine custom made? Like make it in purple? Or Pink?"

The look he gave me was priceless. But i did get a nice wand in the end. Made of holly and some other stuff that I can't remember. I swished and flicked it and whoosh.. there was like this superb kaleidoscope of colours all around me.. But still, it was a plain old piece of long wood. I was so gonna pimped it out with my initials when i got home later..

Got my school robes and then got my school books at some place called Blotts I think and well, it was the epitome of an old bookshop. As I fingered all the books there, I wondered whether I could make money off them by buying them and selling them off to normal folks on Ebay. Death Omens? Potions?Star gazing? Transfiguration skills? Is that like Maths or what? I groaned.. I thought MAGIC was MAGIC?? Didn't realize that magic was like a whole load of stuff that sounded way more difficult and complicated than primary school maths. Hagrid asked me if I was alright. I merely grunted...

Saw a couple of kids in the bookshop that were around my age.. Particularly this blonde guy with a pointed face. He looked bored and was flipping through a book as his eyes made occasional movements to an adult at the far end of the bookshop. His eyes fell on me a couple of times though.. I looked at him, and he immediately send his gaze away. He looked well-kempt,hair neat and tidy,shoes shiny and black, and well, he was well-dressed for a kid my age. Probably a rich kid I thought to myself. I flipped through a book absentmindedly. Hagrid was still purchasing my stuff.Bored as I was at that time, i made my way towards him..

"Hey..." I said.

He looked up, shock on his face .Upclose, he looked kinda cute. Urgh..Did i say that?

"WHAT?"He muttered closing the book in his hand, glaring at me.

"can't a girl say a simple hi?" I shrugged,eyeing him up and down.

"can't you leave me alone?"

"Oh..ExCuuuse me for trying to be friendly." I rolled my eyes.

"Well, excuse me...I don't talk to people I don't know or like. And you kinda fall in that category." He said annoyingly...

I glared at him in response. He glared back at me.

"Leandra..." I muttered.Might as well get to know this idiot while Hagrid settled the rest of my stuff..

"Huh?"

"I'm introducing myself to you idiot.. I am bored and the least you can do is say what's your name.."

"I'm a Malfoy.." He said with a look of smugness on his face,expecting me to say something.

"Err..Malfoy? That's your name?"

"No idiot. Draco.Draco Malfoy..."

I couldn't help but snigger a bit.He looked offended and took a step towards me.I stepped forward too,grinning..

"You dare laugh at me? I'm a pure blood..What are you?"

Pure blood??what's a pure blood? I thought to myself... I have blood running through my veins..Pure blood? Do magic people have different blood? Best answer to give?

"Err..Well..I'm a pure blood too idiot..." Eyeing him down, I gave him a look that matched his arrogance before turning towards the door.Better not anger someone I don't know.YET.especially if he was kinda cute.In an arrogant sorta way.

I glanced around the shop. Hagrid was probably now waiting for me outside. Yup, the huge dude was outside with a small cage,that looked suspiciously like a toad. Shit.

I was about to leave the store when he yelled...

" Leandra!"

I turned. His eyes was filled with interest but there was no smile on his face. I folded my arms at the entrance,annoyed. "WHAT?!"

"See you at Hogwarts?"

A second or two passed.

"You going there too huh?

He gave a reluctant,funny little nod...

"Shit... I must be unlucky..."I muttered to him. Giving him one last look and a smile, i went out of the door. I grinned. Maybe Hogwarts wasn't gonna be as boring as I thought...

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That night was the night before my trip to Hogwarts and well, surprisingly I was excited. Mum packed all the stuff for me, and dad even gave me his old bag of magic tricks.

"Passed down,from generations after generations.." He said proudly. "Your granddad and great granddad and great greatgrandad all did magic and well, i wanna pass this to you as a special gift."

"Thanks dad. Err.. I'm not so sure whether they'll be teaching me Muggle tricks but.. err. Yeah...I'll try to do you proud.." Mum came in all teary and they both hugged me tight.

"One last magic trick before bed?" Dad grinned. I groaned. Normal kids get bedtime stories. I got disappearing quarters that somehow appear in my left ear.Picking cards and such.. Maybe Hogwarts could teach me some cool stuff like what David Blaine or Chris Angel did instead...Now THAT would be so cool...

That night I dreamed of magic wands and floating Malfoy's heads and ice-cream cones.. Weird combination. Must be nerves..

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Morning came too soon. Mom and Dad dropped me off at the train station.

" Girl, this is the proudest moment of my life," my mum sobbed and muttered for the millionth time as we passed through the gates to the platform.

"Leandra darling, I want you to promise me to write us a letter once you reached the school. I still don't know where Hogwarts is and I don't think they got an email system over there.. That Flitterwick elf told me all they had was an owl system... and god knows how we are gonna write to you so you better..."

"Find out how to get a bloody owl to send you a letter...GOSH dad.. I got it..." I rolled my eyes before glancing around, looking for that platform. I had 10 minutes left to get on and I still had no idea where the hell was it...Until I saw 2 boys running off with their stuff and vanishing into a pillar about a couple of metres before me. I blinked and looked around.. No one was aware that it occured. I blinked again. A plump red-haired woman carrying a rat cage looked both ways before plunging into the pillar...WOah... If that wasn't magic, then I didn't know what was...

"Mum,Dad.. This is it.."

They looked at me weirdly.

"I think that's the pillar and I'm not so sure whether u guys can enter it.. so, this is gonna be goodbye..."

They blinked at me and mum immediately went teary again, crushing me in one of her super-duper tight hugs again..

Dad kissed me on the forehead.. Handed me the ticket and smiled...

"Do us proud girl...You are gonna be the world's greatest magician one day..."

I smiled at him. Even though my heart was screaming, "as if I'm gonna be one", i was afterall my daddy's girl and I knew I was leaving both my crazy yet lovable parents for an unknown world...

"Yup dad..Mom.. Hogwarts better be ready for me..." I grinned, waved at them, look both ways, took a deep breath and ran and plunge into the darkness with my stuff...

I guess I shouldn't have ran too fast coz the next thing I knew my trolley went out of control and bumped immediately into an unsuspecting victim...

CRASH!!

I groaned. Not exactly a good first impression to stumble and fall face first onto the platform..

I was about to stand up to rub off the dirt off my favourite overalls when a hand was offered to me. I looked up...

Looked up to the pair of prettiest green eyes I have ever seen in my life...


End file.
